Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Apologizing

Me: "Emma, pick up your shoes and put them away"
Emma: "Don't tell me what to do. I am a princess. Your are NOT my best friend"
Me: "Well then I guess I don't have to make a snack for you" *proceeds to walk out of kitchen and sit down at computer to type this WAITING on an apology*
Lillian: "Don't say bad words to mommy! Say good words to her. Say, 'Mommy, I love you lots. I love when you take me places.' Tell her you are sorry. You hurt her feelings. Now, tell your mommy that you are sorry"
Emma: "I am going to go play in a second....Then eat my food, THEN I will tell Mommy that I am sorry"
Me: "I'm not going to make your food until you tell me that you are sorry"
Emma: "Well you hurt my feelings"
Me: "You? Why are your feelings hurt?"
Emma: "You made me take a NAP!"

Monday, June 13, 2011

Keeping Up with the Girls

The kids are watching "Wild Pets" on TV and a porcupine came on the screen and Lillian said, "Mommy, look, it is a pork-in-pine"

Emma asked for a peanut butter, turkey, and cheese sandwich. So I made it for her. She is eating it.

Lillian: "I think Fiderman starts with the letter F"

Josh took the kids to the beach today while I was at work. His skin is peeling so he told Lilly that his skin was coming off. she said that he needs to go to the hospital and get shots or he will die because if his skin comes off all his guts will fall out.

We went to Hibachi Grill today. Lilly says "we have to MAKE mommy like this place cuz it's my favorite!"

Lillian: "You can make walls out of bricks?"

Emma just told the dressing room lady who has braces, "I like your teeth!!"

Lillian: "Do dolphins have sharp teeth to eat people?"
Me: "Yes, they have teeth and could bite you, but they don't eat people"
Lillian: "They could bite me?"
Me: "Yes, Lillian. ANY animal with teeth can bite you. I have teeth. I could bite you"
Lillian: "DONT BITE ME!"

(At the grocery store)
Lillian: *Gasping and eyes getting big*
me: "NO"
Lillian: "But we can look at it! Toy Story Three toys that we aren't going to get but that I need sometime"

Lillian says she didn't smile for her VPK picture because she was too tired.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Some Updates

I have been posting everything to FB and not here. I should go back and get some of the great quotes from the girls from this past month:

Emma to TV: "Bye Pony"
Lillian: "It can't hear you. You aren't in the TV"
Me: "It can't hear you because it's fake"
Lillian: "I wish we were fake.... and could be on TV"

Lillian: "I can reach it"
Emma: "No, you can't"
Lillian: "YES I CAN! I am FIVE! I am tall enough to reach things! Do you want to see?"

Lillian: "Girls are things like mommies and aunts and sisters and teachers.... so are you a boy or a girl, Emma? You can't be those things if you are a boy"

Emma just told me to leave her alone in the shower and get back to cleaning

Lillian: "When I grow up, can I be a mommy?"
Me: "If you want to be, but it is a lot of hard work"
Lillian: "Okay. I will be a Superhero then"

Lilly is now upset with me for bursting her bubble about Ricky. He told her a barn was on fire and he saved all the animals and then roasted marshmallows. I told her, "He is lying and tell stories. If there was a fire the fireman would save the animals" now she is pouting

Lil: "was it you that told me about the coyote in yellowstone?"
Me: "yes"
Lil: "I am scared. It might eat me"
Me: "You are too big. Coyotes eat things like rabbits, possums, and raccoons" (I actually have no clue what they eat)
Lil: "They can't eat rabbits! Rabbits are nice!!"
Me: "But they have to eat something!"
Lil: "Let them eat grass like cows!"

Lillian: "Do snails bite?"
Me: "I don't know"
Lillian: "Well, we better ask daddy. He will know about snails that bite"

I told Lillian that her nick name "Lilly" comes from the Smashing Pumpkins song "Lily (my one and only)" so today while listening to it she asked me, "Mommy, who wrote this song for me?"
"Billy Corgan" :)

Lilly was pretending to be a puppy and she said she had a college and leach..... She meant a collar and leash

Emma: "I am pretending to be the baby monster"
Lilly: "You can be the mommy monster, I can be the sister monster, and daddy can be the daddy monster"

Lillian: "What other flavors of ice cream are there?"
Me: "Anything you can imagine"
Lillian: "Rainbows?"

Lillian: "What type of lotion is this?"
Me: "Shea butter and oatmeal"
Lillian: "Oatmeal? That is what Emma eats!"

Josh pretending to be a cow that eats people
Emma: "Go away cow! Go eat peanut butter and jelly sandwich"

After watching X-men:
Me: "Who was your favorite?"
Emma: "eXtra-man"

Lilly: "What is that smoke?"
Me: "I don't know. Probably another fire"
Lilly & Emma *sniff sniff*
Lilly: "Smells like a barbecue"
Emma: "Yeah! Smells like a Barbie-Q"

Me: *cleans Emma's ears out with Q-tip after shower*
Emma: "There are no monsters in my ears!"

Lillian: "Is that thunder?"
Me: "No, that is daddy snoring"

Me getting Dora Pull Ups: "maybe by the time we are done with this pack you will be wearing only underwear. Can we work on that?"
Emma: "No, I need pull ups!"
Me: "What do you need them for"
Emma: "I dunno. For my crib!"

(while grocery shopping) In a robot voice Emma is chanting, "I don't like these noodles. Please don't buy them for me"

Me: "Can you stop kicking the table?"
Emma: "I can't. My leg is hurting.... I will stop in a minute"
*keeps kicking*
Emma: "Stopped!"
*stops kicking"

Emma: "Don't tell me what to do"
Me: "I am your mommy. It is my job to tell you what to do"
Emma: "oh..."

Emma: "What do fishies eat??"
Me: "Other fishies"
Emma: "oh..."

Lilly just asked me to play the "Punkin one of Phantom of the Opera" meaning she wanted to hear the PUNK version

Lillian asked Josh to scare her hiccups away and so he roared and scared her so bad that she started crying

Lillian: "I am making a bunny. Not an Easter one. Just a real one"

Emma is yelling at her baby doll to stop pooping in her pants

I walked into Emma examining her stuffed lizard with a stethoscope. She looked at me and said, "He is dead. The snake bit him"

Girls are pretending to cook. They are putting sugar and butter on their imaginary eggs

Emma: "Where is daddy?"
Me: "At work"
Emma: "You don't miss him?"
Me: "Yes, I miss him"
Emma: "I miss him too"

Emma: "I am not bigger enough, like you. When I get bigger like you, I can reach those cracker. Then I won't be little, right?"

(end of May 2011) Lilly had her first kiss from a boy this weekend. Cameron Reed grabbed her face and laid one right on her lips. She ran away screaming bloody murder. It was priceless!!!